Impeachment Fantasy Cold Open - SNL

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PINKY: IN MEMORIAM

    On 2:53 AM, March 24, 2022, Pinky Conklin was relieved of the chronic pain that had bedeviled her most of her life. She was 79 years old. I was only with her a few short years, 3 of them where she was reasonably ambulatory, but we had some fun together. When we started our relationship she was living with one of her sons and his wife in Prineville, Oregon. She was 8 blocks from a senior center, but had no public transport to get her there and she walked unstably with a cane. I thought she could get better treatment in Portland, she was trying to get hip replacement, but I lived on my little 27' Bayliner cruiser. I was living the dream I had held in my mind for some four decades. I did not think she could handle the rigors of marina life, but my purchase of the boat, and the necessary costs of maintaining a boat were taxing my resources.       For a while she was able to live with a relative in Tigard. We joined the Tigard Senior Center and she had peopl...
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MY EX'S DOG LOVES ME

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MY BRIEF EXPOSURE TO THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT

I think I was about 14 or 15. The boy becoming the man, with the zits to show for it. I was learning my politics at family gatherings, encouraged by my uncles. The usual topic, aside from the careful talk about WWII, was Vietnam. It was known at that time as a "police action" but would soon be declared a bonified war. For a very bone-headed reason. I wrote a letter to the Editor of the Oregon Statesman, there being two Salem papers of record at that time. I opined passionately on the Vietnam War and patriotism as only a fifteen year-old male with a face full of acne could. At sometime during my rant, with no attempt at subtelty, I called our two great Senator's, Wayne Morse (D) and Mark Hatfield (R), "worms in the bowels of government". They were, and still are among our great Senators. How many middle-school boys know anything about subtelty?       Shortly after the appearance of my Letter to the Editor, I recieved a subscription to a cheap newsprint monthly ca...
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