PROPER ETIQUETTE AT A RAPTURE /Apologies to Mark Twain's, Proper Etiquette at a funeral.

     From time to time those who believe they are a direct conduit from the diety, take to the pulpit to warn of the impending destruction of the planet by an angry God. It has always been thus; back to the beginning of preachers when there was a surplus of Dieties. A recent example was Reverend Camping whose prediction of the end of the world on May 21, 2011 did not come to pass. Optimist that he was, he claimed later to have miscalculated by five months. We are still here, though we have not seen much of Rev. Camping.
    
 Since we now have some time to better prepare for the apocalypse, here are some thoughts on how the righteous can avoid appearing self-righteous and insincere to those who won't be experiencing the blessings of rapture.

     1) It should be remembered that clothing, even underclothing, will not be needed. Therefore, it would be seen as outre' to purchase special apparel for the end times. This is a benefit, since the righteous require more yards of cloth to cover themselves than the unrighteous.
     2)  it should also be remembered that one cannot purchase induction into the hereafter. Therefore acts of excessive generosity would go unrewarded, especially if one was not previously known for his generosity.
     3) It will do no good to lock up your property immediately before rapture. Those left behind would manage to break in anyway.
     4) Southerners, especially Texans, should not appear to "spike the ball" until the endzone is achieved.
     5) do not jump from a moving vehicle if you see bodies floating heavenward...it could be a tornado.
     6) Since predictions of the apocalypse have been unreliable, it would appear mean and petty to adversely affect Medicare, Medicaid, and other social safety nets.
     7) Preachers should be cautious of making predictions of the apocalypse; one erroneous prognostication could be excused, subsequent predictions are less likely to be taken seriously.
     8) People who take seriously predictions of the impending apocalypse should refrain from calling global warming a hoax.

There are abundant natural phenomena which could hasten any one of us to the afterlife. Whether the provenance is divine or natural is of no concern to those who don't survive.

Those who proclaim that the divinity is in the planning stages of wiping the slate clean, make the divinity appear churlish and lacking in compassion. It would be better to let him/her (or maybe they/them) spring the surprise unheralded, so that any discussions will be accompanied by harp music.

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