I'M FINE.

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Decisions become more difficult as we age. Will buying a newer used car be worthwhile, the closer I age until I must let others drive? When do I finally listen to that desperate phone sales-person trying to sell me burial insurance? Should I cut back on ice-cream, or chocolate. But things could be worse and it pleases me that it isn't. 

My doctor wants me to have a colonoscopy, my third. I got scheduled for an appointment a week ago. It's in Feb. My follow-up email was that I needed to pay $446. Up front. My previous two appointments were covered. I rescheduled until March so i could afford my twice-yearly car insurance. The out of pocket cost fell to $296 in my march appointment. Does that mean i get a cheaper physician? I hope the meds are as pleasant as before. I got some new pants for Christmas. My waist size is a couple sizes smaller. I'm happy with that. My new blue jeans are made for mature men. They are called Ballroom jeans. My visits to ballrooms, rare earlier, are even less likely now. Unless I live long enough to see Trump's proposed ballroom cost him some more of his property. That excitement could be my demise or it could bring that moist, warm feeling that comes with men my age. I no longer need more room for my balls, so we don't worry about that. 

These days, my personal enjoyments come with my kitten in my lap. That is usually not her idea. Lulu is officially my emotional support animal, thanks to a medical note from my Dr. Emotional support brings a cynical smile to my face, as I wonder at what time she will begin to slow down and enjoy my comforting lap enough to support me emotionally. I also think at times, "will I outlive Lulu, or will she outlive me? What accommodations do I make for that second eventuality. 

I am I think, allowed to be proud that I am once more battling our government. I really never stopped, but this time the threat is more existential. This time the battle will be my swan song, but I am just active enough to be that boil between a Republican's butt-cheeks. And as my health declines I have time to try new ways to be a combatant. I see many of my age demographic whose thoughts run along similar paths. It pleases me to remember our time in the 60s and 70s. And that in the waning years of our lives my Boomer demographic will aquit ourselves well this time, too. Like our fathers before us, we fight fascism. My sons will carry on if we don't succeed before I'm history. 

I won't have a grave marker. I'm toying with human composting. Perhaps the tree that grows from my composted remains my have my epitaph. It may read thus:
                     REMEMBER BACK IN THE 2000 ELECTION THAT AL GORE WON BUT LOST?                           REMEMBER THAT RECOUNT IN FLORIDA THAT WAS STOPPED BY THE.                                   BROOKS BROTHERS BRIGADE THAT CONTAINED TWO FUTURE SUPREME.                             COURT JUSTICES, ONE TO BE CHIEF JUSTICE?
                     REMEMBER WHEN YOU PEOPLE SAID, "ITS OVER GET OVER IT?"
                     I DIDN'T GET OVER IT. TILL NOW.

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